The New House

April 6, 2010

So I moved into a new house.

My previous roommate, a nice enough fellow who used to switch off the fridge at night to ‘conserve electricity,’ decided to move on to better things despite being paid more than me for approximately 1/10 of the work (If you’re reading this, S – you know I’m right)

After fighting back nightmarish flashbacks of my house hunt last year, where Delhi’s real estate options for the financially challenged seemed to consist of

  1. 1.    Bat-infested caves with an attached toilet.
  2. 2.    A 1BHK+T setup where the individual rooms were on separate floors or, in one horrible case, in separate buildings. (I kid you not. A broker actually showed me a flat in Saket where the bedroom was on the second floor, the bathroom in the basement and the kitchen ACROSS THE ROAD in another building)

…I managed to find a nice house in a posh locality that I could afford.

Except things can never work out normally, can they?

So a week before I move in, person of Low Moral Fibre breaks into the place via the back, ignores the roommate’s laptops, cash and sundry valuables, and escapes ONLY with the washbasin, the toilet commode and six taps.

So the day I move in, the only way to get water was to bring a wrench to a stubby little knob in the bathroom and twist clockwise, which would make a stream of water fall from a hole in the wall.

So I go to meet the landlord, who looks and speaks like this chap:

He asks me where I’m from. ‘Madras,’ I say.

He stares at me, as if I were some spectral manifestation of a madrasi rather than a flesh-and-blood variant. “You don’t look like a Madrasi,” he says finally.

“…But I am!” I offer weakly.

My guess is that the landlord has since made a mental note that I’m not somehow normal, because he seems to react to everything I say with the glee of an alien ethno-biologist discovering that this strange creature is, indeed, a bit like the rest of us.

The man also believes that everyone in Tamil Nadu grinds dosa batter to pass the time.

14 Responses to “The New House”

  1. KK said

    Man, the image of you wrenching water out of a hole in the wall is priceless, and needs to be immortalised in comic strip form.
    And dude, your new house needs a poster with ‘Idhu Tamizh Nadu’ written on it in glorious tampunk colours.

    • sottai said

      That is an utterly brilliant idea. I’m going to consult you on design layout, and I’m starting work on it right away!

  2. Pia said

    OMG I narrowly escaped an aneurysm reading this!! =) Mish gave me the link… Aw you mean to say you DON’T grind dosa batter in your free time..?? Hmm that blew my mind a bit… ^_^

  3. carp said

    I quite deeply like your blog.

  4. Saumya said

    Lovely post – “thinks we grind dosa batter to pass time!” 🙂

  5. mitoticallyyours said

    Don’t you just love saddi Dilli? 😉
    I am guessing you are new to the city and will tell you this-if you love the city, it loves you back. Dilli is intuitive like that! 🙂
    Aaaaahhhh Dilli, I miss you!

    • sottai said

      Heh. Hardly new to the city, I’m afraid. Been here 9 years in all.

      It’s alright, I guess – A step up from other places I’ve stayed in…but I wouldn’t miss it if I moved somewhere better. =)

  6. vasudha said

    Brilliance only! I’ve been reading your blog for the past couple of hours and its been the best two hours of the day..Thank you 🙂

  7. The first image. That.

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  9. joydey763 said

    Wish your dear ones a very Happy Birthday exclusively with wonderful array of cakes. Send Cakes to Ghaziabad with the services provided by offering its customers with plenty of varieties. Wishes will be so special with these tasty cakes.

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